As some of you know, I was one of those teenagers who did bizarre things just for the shock value. I like to think I've grown out of that. Now when I do bizarre things, it's because that's genuinely what I feel like doing. :D
Last night I got together with my brother and a friend and went for a walk in the middle of the night. It was nice. We had some fun conversations and took pictures of each other. The thing is, we were all dressed strangely. I was wearing a glittery minidress and stripey tights, my brother was wearing a kilt, a leather vest, and a top hat, and our friend, though otherwise normal-looking, had borrowed my hot pink feather boa. Before last night, it had been a very long time since I had occasion to get all dressed up and go gallivanting.
Of course, sometime over the course of the night, we got caught up in the fun of looking weird in public and ended up taking some pictures and such that were pretty much just for the "freak value." Then I ended up feeling bad about that. Really, I'm not out to be a big attention whoring weirdo anymore. I want to have what I consider to be a normal, happy life. It just so happens that my version of normal includes stripey tights, fire-eating, and midnight strolls. Occasional moments of attention whoring are fine, I guess, but I don't like the idea of being "freaky" just for the shock value. I'm weird for its own sake, and in a very organic way. It's the whole "self-expression" thing. I like sparkly clothes and slightly outlandish forms of entertainment, but forced strangeness bothers me.
I guess what I'm thinking right now is this: if you're a member of some fringe culture or other, where's the line between just going on with your life regardless of what you look like and taking it in stride that people will likely think you're out to be "shocking", and actually trying to be shocking? How often do you make the effort to get attention and be weirder than usual? Does it bother you, as someone who just happens to look like an oddity, when friends act intentionally strange as a method of garnering stares from passers by? Do any of these questions even make sense?
Random thoughts of the day, likely poorly phrased.